Will You Marry Me?

are you ready?

The Dream I'll Never Forget

Yes, indeed is a dream that I will never forget.

*that is what my heart says, but since that I am freaking busy and stress, who knows when I'll forget*

So for the best, I decide to blog about my dream, in order when in future I reads about it.

I'll smile like how I smiled this morning when I woke up.

P/S: Keep in mind, dreams are where anything is possible, so some part may be a bit outrages but hey, like i said, is a wonderful dream that made me smile the moment I woke up.

It all begins with...

I was standing by a tall glass window, looking out at the airfield while people around me were cheering and waving frantically out of the window, there I saw entering the airplane, was Taeyeon followed by Seohyun & Sooyoung.

I remember thinking to myself 'damn, im going to miss seeing soshi's face' as I watch them enter the airplane, Sooyoung wave before entering with a beautiful smile on her face, you know her infamous lady smile :)

I turn around and I saw my two buddies there, Xian (Yoona bias) & Cynthia (Yuri Bias) they were...fangirling xD like this situation is fucking realistic. Once soshi disappeared into the plane, we gathered and said how we wish we could see them even more often and longer.

Somehow, we walked up the the security, I ask "Is the plane not taking off yet?"

"Nope, it will take off in 2 hours, a small delay" he replied.

"Can I see Taeyeon? Please, I promise I wont cause a chaos, I just want to talk to her because I do not know how long will I have to wait in years to see her again, this may be my only chances to be able to talk to her"  All my words were said in a begging tone, and surprisingly he nodded his head and took us to the airplane. (Told you guys dreams are where everything can be possible XD)

So together with my buddies we followed the security, there at the entrance of the plane, we saw Taeyeon (wearing a white furry jacket) resting her back against the seat, she looks peacefully, 

"Remember what you promised" the security reminded us and left.

We entered the plane nervously and went to Taeyeon.

I remember bowing to the leader, which made her look at me, shock at first but I think seeming I wasn't fangirling like nuts, she didn't mind, she smiled just a little to acknowledge my presence.

"Fan...Soshi Fan...Cho-nem, Sowon-ni-mi-da" 

I remember so darn clearly my desperate attempt to make her know my presence.

She mouthed 'O' but never really replied further.

Then I proceed saying, "I...really like you...Taeyeon, I really do"

This time her eyes widen, I'm sure she understand what I just said in simple english, because she smiled and blushed, nodding her head while saying "dae~dae" and sat up straight in her seat.

"Taeyeon-ah, selca juseyo?" my hands trembling, reaching into my pocket as I pull my note3 out.

I took the first selfie and wasn't happy with the slight blurriness, until Cynthia came behind me and pat me on the shoulders.

"Oi!! Your Tippani is at the other check in point!! Dont you want to see her??"  the tone of her voice all excited. I remember smiling to Taeyeon again as I bow and rushes off with Cynthia leading the way. We reach some certain place, where I believe is the waiting area, the place is huge and filled with more seniority than young adults. Cynthia then pointed to the crowd somewhere.

"Neh...kan dao mei yao?"

which means, "there...did you see her?" in mandarin (its fxcking real, cos we do communicate in mandarin =_=) and I was standing on my toes, trying hard to catch a glimpse of the direction where she is pointing at and I kept telling her, "mei you! mei you leh! Nani!!" very frustrated actually, and it meant "where got? I dont see her, she's not there! Where!!"

Xian tap my shoulder and stood next to me and point again, "Ni kan...pink color de yi-fu"

and that means, "You look again, the one in pink color shirt" as she was pointing to the crowd.

From there, i spotted a girl sitting alone among a few of the crowds on the waiting bench, she was just chilling there.

Brown hair, slightly curl on the middle till end.

Had her earphones on, her phone in her hands, she was paying no attention to the crowd.

I remember Xian and Cynthia was saying WHAT YOU WAITING FOR! GO!! and they ran towards where she is sitting at, while I was making my way there with trembling knees I swear.

The nervousness was no joke, it felt realistic. I saw a few fangirls not far from her, but not approaching Tiffany either, idk why, probably respecting her privacy but they were flashing camera at her >.>

The moment I was close to her, I saw Cynthia and Xian talking to her a bit, like they were telling her about me (being the crazy ass fangirl of Tiffany's) LOL. Because as I was right next to her, Tiffany turn around and smile to me.

"Oh hi..they were just telling me about you" In her OH-MY-GOD-BEAUTIFUL-AMERICAN-ACCENT x_x it felt like I died awhile, but regain my life again because having a conversation with her is more important at that moment.

I went on my knees and just keep looking straight into her eyes, I felt speechless that she was actually just right in front of me, looking back right into my stares and she never once stop smiling, "Tiffany...I'm sorry, but...pardon me...for being...silly right now, not talking to you...is just urm, this is my dream, to see you up close and have conversation with you...wow this is unbelievable" I sigh, she smiled even brighter. (yes, you idiot, this is indeed just a dream that you have been dreaming for)

"Aww, don't be that way, come on, get up" she took my hand to pull me up onto my feet and guide me to sit right next to her.

"Why are you not on the same flight as Taeyeon's?" i ask.

"Oh, she's heading back to Korea, I'm going back to LA" Tiffany answered, "You saw her?"

I nodded, "I even took a selfie with her" nervously I fish my phone out of my pocket, but wtf the phone I took out, wasn't mine, it was a note1, probably belonging to my sis, then I remember I was scolding myself, I was frustrated at myself, how can a note1 take better pictures than note3. Now that I am sitting next to my only idol, probably I could take selfie with her, but I'm left with this shitty phone??? (No offense to anyone who is using Samsung Note1 reading this, I previously used it and gave my sister when I got myself a Note3)

"What happened?" she asked.

I shook my head, but I guess I look upset, because she was staring at me, "No, I just thought I could take a good picture with you...but the phone...the camera-"

"Is okay! My flight is in another 4 hours, we can take many good ones" she winked.

I died mentally again.

Then Cynthia whisper by my ear, "Hey, hou mien yao yi ke Disney dian...dai ha chu la"

It means, "Hey, there's a disney shop behind, offer her to go there"

"Fany ah, can I get you something? ...a candy, or anything you like...that can keep you company on your flight" all this in my most nervous tone.

She nodded her head and we headed out, while i saw many fangirls were wondering who the fuck am I xD that Tiffany is following with. Then I lean over and saw Cynthia walking on Tiffany's left side, AND HER ARM WRAPPED AROUND TIFFANY'S SHOULDER. 

sorry Cynthia, if it comes to my woman, I'll be jealous, even though you are my best friend xD.

"Oi! Your hand" I glare at Cynthia and hit her hand a bit, hoping she gets the message.

"Whatttttttt~ She don't mind what, hor Tiffany?" Cynthia grins while I frowned.

Tiffany turns around to look at me, she then hook her arm with mine and intertwined our fingers together, "There, does this makes you feel better?"

I was blushing, too happy to even reply but nodded my head.

Her hand in mine, everything was being way to realistic.

"Tiffany, are you feeling cold? Your hand is slightly cold and your fingers are really long like the fans said" I giggled and she laughs at the question.

We entered the shop.

Xian and Cynthia went around to find all the pink stuffs they can >.>

"You sure you want to get me those stuffs here? They are kind of pricey though..." said Tiffany as she picks up a few pink keychain, smiling at it. I went over and grab it from her.

"This is once in a lifetime, I don't mind, I probably only get to do this once only"

I stood at the mug section, where there's a unicorn printing on the pink mug, "This is cute, Fany do you want this?" she rush over to my side, leaning her head side ways as she looks at the cup, and she smiled. No need for an answer, I grabbed it. After everything was purchased, I head to the counter while Tiffany is still looking around.

Cynthia was standing by side as we look at the cashier scanning all the items picked by Tiffany in the basket, I remember leaning into Cynthia as I whispers "hey, if I not enough, borrow me a few hundred? Please, I will pay you back once we get home" she said okay, no problem at all to my relief.

The total is RM870.95

and the both of us were like WHAT THE FUCK WHY SO EXPENSIVE ONE, i took out RM500 from my wallet and is left empty, so Cynthia and Xian help to cover the remaining balance.

We went our way back to the seats where we saw her at first.

She tap the vacant seat beside her when she looks at me, so I sat next to her.

"Thank you, you're really sweet" she said.

"Is you whom made me sweet" I replied.

(Then I hear the alarm of my handphone ring - like, seriously, the real alarm in reality is ringing)

"I think I'll be going anytime soon, Fany-ah, is a pleasure to meet you this upclose, you are amazing...I dont know when I'll ever have this chances again, will I dream about you again if I keep thinking about you before I sleep?"

(^ omg wtf is that)

Tiffany shrugs her shoulders, "If you miss that person you love more than enough, I'm sure you'll dream about them...we'll see each other again, don't worry, just go" she smiles encouragingly.

"You know I'll still love you no matter what are the news that came out in the past and maybe in the future...."

and I woke right back up to reality.

Wow..

And I smiled the whole time from the moment I woke up, I rushed downstairs, wanting to share this great dream, but she was sleeping.

But wow, certainly, Tiffany made my morning :)

Thank you, God.

Dont judge me for being happy :p

overdose

I used to think who cares what is going on inside of my body.
And i am those who can actually bear a lot in any kinds of pain.
Because I have a very low blood pressure, I can easily be strike with a severe headache and taking painkiller is my most reliable ways of pushing the pain awhile for temporarily.
I start by taking panadol then double the dose as 1 does not work for me anymore and slowly I switch to Ponstan a stronger painkiller.
It works like brilliant in the beginning but heck again I relied too much on it (probably taking them at least twice a week) slowly the effect was useless and my pain remains.
Like i said..i am tough enough to bear through many kinds of pain, but it was so severe that it is practically costing my time. It made me hold my work back as I could only lie on bed. Shutting my eyelids tight enough to slowly fall asleep and hopefully sleep through the pain.
Went to the pharmacy and I was introduce to Caffox. A strong painkiller to be taken along with Ponstan and damn I felt happy to have find anothet new buddy that could relief my pain.
(Have also tried Synflex and lots more others that you can find the name in google under 'best painkiller for headache' cos i would just jot down the name and head to the pharmacy for it)
I can bear with the pain but at most time I would prefer to be pain free. Who in the world want to be in pain?? Not me that is.
But if you're smart...you can probably guess it by now, the effect was slowly wearing off and not effecting fast enough. Like it can only make the pain go mild not gone but just mild.
So double up the dosage and my parents is keeping their eyes on me as they felt my dependence on painkiller is becoming a serious matter =_= maybe it is but hey if it can take my pain away..i seriously dont mind.

But because of overdosing with painkillers...there goes my stomach lining becomes thinner than it usually should :/ so now i easily have stomach pain (yes it become serious too) but then the other way to have that pain goes away...its just extra painkiller for the stomach pain to kiss my ass goodbye.
I think if I take a picture of my medication kit...you will be surprise to see how many kinds of painkillers i have and they are all at the highest mg :x

This happened before CNY this year or i think its during the 1st day of CNY. I woke up with a very painful headache coming from the side of my head. Somehow I realize the left side of my eye black out half of the side...urm...like you try to look at something without turning your head around and just moving the pupil? Yeap. I did that and it was just dark instead of visual...i never panic at that cos I was assuming it was due to the sunlight(?) Phone screen(?) Or TV that i was watching..and its gone when the headache left.
Until.
Yesterday.
I woke up. Severe migraine. My left side of the eye went completely blur. That was when I think is not okay to just to let it be. Took a trip to the medic. She say I may have a vein damaged but she dont dare to simply make a decision as she is not a specialist. So she recommended me to go to the hospital for a whole check up instead.
But then really...I guess I just have to wait a bit more and see how this blur eye goes if i ever have the migraine in the future.
Perhaps it is just the timing?
Idk.
Bottomline.
Do not get yourself overdose.
Not only on medication but love too.
:p
Life is too short to worry to much about yourself.

2015 - Hello...

Hello 2015, okay, I get it, I am updating like in the second month of the year. Dont blame me, I'm bloody busy ._. OTL fml~

Actually, I was hesitating whether should I or should I not post the last post before this.

But hey, no names are mentioned, *whispers* but you know who you are.

LOL, yeap.

I think I need to find some free time to only continue my blog as I am now clearly blank *-*

Too stress with work that's why.

Peace out. Be back when I can.

Praying hard that 2015 will be a good year for me *please*

Throughout the years, I've met lots of people.

Today, it's a bit different, I am a bit agitated by this person's attitude.

I pondered if I should even blog about this.

Okay, to save this person's image, names shall (try) be kept unknown.

This lawyer (well, soon to be) came to join us, being in the same branch with me and a primary friend of his who also happens to be my old schoolmate during high school is in the other branch.

I'm going to cut this real short, but the juicy point should not be left out ;)

So what happened was, this fella, he was transferred in between branches twice.
Finally after a week, he was remained in the same branch as me.

It wasn't long when he starts to show signs of having interest in me.

I'm not even trying to be funny but guys can be very obvious with what they want at times.

He begin by asking me out for movies.

but hey, anyone who knows me, knows i would avoid going for movies.

I think I have even stated that before of to why i dont go to the movies.

LOL.

and also because i got the obvious hints, im trying not to let him think that he has the chance.

Here's the question.

Do i have no feelings for him?

Yes.

Yes as in i do not have any feelings for him.

None.

And before any of you starts counting (judging) how long I have been single.

Here's the latest news: I'm still happy.

CALL ME TIFFANY HWANG!

Ok, back to the topic.

I think what pissed me more is he is getting this involve and let it affect our work?

Like I would ask him to do his tasks properly, he'll reply me "I love you"

and if I ask when is he coming back to office, "You miss me already?"

Okay, some of you may sees it as a joke.

But hey, it is bothering me and my job flow.

Like please be serious.

Have a little self respect and for me a bit.

If you like one person, you shan't make them feel discomfort in any ways, cos that wont be call love then if you do.

He even does this in front of my other two female colleagues (his friend included) which I feel really awkward and embarrass. Is just plain not cool.

I've met several guys in my life that opens my eyes a lot.
But I will just give a few examples that really surprises me most from their way of showing their interest.

There's one where sometimes i feel happy hanging out with him, but because of his persistence that slowly changes into an aggressive ones, like asking my whereabouts, from hour to hour, what was I doing. The care that they want to show, is proving how bothersome they are in the way they pesters me. Is like. Im not yours, so back off and stop acting as though I'm yours.
Basically, I thought we could maintain a friendship-relationship. But nope. Guess that didn't work that way, since he can't get me, he decide to become all nasty and rude towards me (even when we are still in the friendzone) His attitude become very nauseating for me and my friends to see, so we called it a STOP.

Then there is one that shows affection in person, like he would be really really soft when he speaks to me and it was pretty obvious, when he asked, I rejected, he actually told me "if you rejects my feelings, I'm afraid that is kind of hard for us to continue as being just friend" which really, I have no choice but to let go of this friendship cos...I can never force myself to give a try to a relationship when I have 0% ok- 0 is kind of harsh, but I do know how to differentiate feelings and what I want.
So yes, we eventually stop contacting one another.
Both moved on with no awkwardness.
Surprisingly, he text me last month to ask me to join him for a late drinking session.
at first i didnt know who text me, but seeing how he call me by the nickname (which he is the only who does) I knew it was him, but late night is a no no for me (busy lah)
LOL.
I'm glad that he took the initiative to text me, that shows i am still a bit part of his friend list.
But i hope us hanging out wont make your girlfriend uneasy.

One more.
Well, he didnt directly confesses to me.
But he actions says it all, he is caring and very well aware of my emotions.
LMAO.
His friend is the one who told me about his feelings towards me.
I think I don't want to share this out, because if I share out what he did for me, things can become pretty obvious and it might cause awkwardness HAHA
(P/S: if you are reading this, dont so perasan ok? I might the perasan one i guess LOL)
but this one right here.
He is still a part of my gang cycle, well at least, he has never (maybe?) made me feel uncomfortable before.

Okay, I'm getting goosebump just by sharing this.
Back to this colleague.
There are guys where they knew they were being rejected, they start texting you emotional text.
Indirectly hinting you that they are unhappy >.>
Gee, such a wuss.

My Stress FREE day w buddies

I'm just going to cut this short and fast?

Haha, basically I am so darn busy with work.

If you want pictures, please just visit my ig(?)

LOL.

Even on ig, there's only two pictures.

Since we enjoy ourselves more than we whoring around in front of the camera xD

So, the early plan for this outing, we are all pretty stress from works and studies.

Where to head when you feel stress and you want to be a kid all over again?

SUNWAY LAGOON!!

I know, I went there like not long ago, probably in the month of August? July? Not very sure.

/short term memory lost alert/

But who cares! Like if you go with the right people, anywhere can be a great place.

So, on 18/10/2014, Andrew decided to pick me up from my place @ 730am, he is pretty on time this time (okay, most of the times laa) /claps hands/ no no, he was like arriving before 740am(?) if im not mistaken because I am super duper hyper allergic to people who cannot be on time.

Pick me up and we head on to pick CK up :D then off we go to Klang to pick the two xiao jie(s) up as well then off we head to our fun destination.

I guess luck was on our side as Groupon had this discount of purchasing two tix at the price of RM120 (per tix w IC is RM90) so yeah. we saved ourselves a whole RM30 (not bad eh?)

Actually i wanted to give myself a halloween night of try for the night themepark, but the two girls are saying they are afraid, so we skipped that.

P/S: I DONT EVEN GO FOR HAUNTED HOUSE! but lol, the sudden wanting(?)

We start our ride with VUVUZUELA my favorite ride and it was CK's first time riding it.

I made him promise to scream like a girl xD and we did.

After Vuvuzuela ride, we head for Vuvuzuela AGAIN xD and he said he felt no difference.

-_-

well, Sunway is kinda boring because of the limited rides. TBH.

But hey, once in awhile, you need to release the inner kid of you out okay.

And we did, throwing sands at one another, seriously, thinking back how we played with the sands...

that scene, i can laugh all over again.

That day i actually laughed and trip on my butt and kept on laughing until my friends was like O_o are you okay??

We were wandering around, wondering what ride we should go since we skipped Flying Fox (due to long queue) we happened to see the Wave Pool having this Fire Eating acts going on, caught our attention we just go to the closes we can to the stage.

All of a sudden the host announces there will be music and DJ after the acts.

Guess what.

We actually dance in the wave pool for 2 hours (plus) straight.

It was kinda new to us all, and every time the DJ starts a new song, we would start by splashing one another (even the strangers besides us) like CRAZY!! Then jumping up and down like crazy, is like clubbing in water xD

Or else how can we dance all the way for 2 hours straight till rain downpours~

What happened in the Wave Pool Party was this two girls standing next to me, we were splashing around until i turned my back against from CK who is splashing me nonstop, I saw this Arab fella actually stick his body close up to the chinese girls, but because the situation was kinda 'messy' you can really do anything but to expect being touch/molest by others who take advantages of the situation.

I took initiative to whisper to one of them whether they know him or not, they said no, so I actually got Andrew's helped to stand beside the two girls to block them off from the Arab guys. 

It did the trick :3

Omg, my muscles are still sore till today, it's like 2 days already.

And I'm getting a lil lazy to blog :p

But the best part is that we went for another last round of Vuvuzuela under the raining hard condition.

Damn that feeling is NICE :D

I'll be back to blog, back to work.

Miss my buddies already :(