weird weird.

It was on the 23rd when i woke to go for my driving lesson.
Yes,my driving lesson indeed... just going for the course... and yes even at the age of 20 already...so? XD
woke up in the morning i came to realize both my hands were black...no no...grey-ish?
You know like those dead corpse color? yeah.thats how my hand look like.
So then.off to the course...
Journey back and forth to the place makes me feel like puking...and im kind of sleepy i guess..
So then,i took an MC for the next day since i was really not feeling well..
vomiting nothing since i didnt have any meals. :/ Sucks you know.
the feeling of your throat burning.
But i guess everything work its on way,since i did feel a little much better?
It was during the night time where i was talking to one of my...friend? XD on the internet..
during half way...i guess i must've fainted because all i know is that the next day i woke up is almost 12pm on bed.
What happened was that u fainted on my desk and dad found me all white and cold.
:x
receiving an injection was better i guess..
It woke me up after that..had the second one and it was all better..
ask my sister do i look as if im dead,she said "YES..and i will take all your Tiffany collection and lappy if its for real"
=-= wtf. XD
C'mon even the doctors got no idea what is happening to me @.@
So what do i do?
Life moves on.

Christmas night is where i wanted to just sleep as early as i can..
But then decide to spend it with some of my old friends since they have been asking a month before it happens..
And what happen? 5glass of Vodka Absolute..
*piungggggg* annyeong right away..
Im not going to drink anymore... :| i mean im not going to drink so much the next time.
You've asked me questions and wanted me to answer honestly...and i did.
But what happen? you cried and said i lie??
If this wasnt the answer you are looking or hoping for,then dont ask.
:/

im damn tired right now.

YoonYoung

And yes.... this is my baby rabbit,YoonYoung..
Which has moved on..in heaven...
R.I.P

What happened was the day i saw a rabbit in Midvalley petshop and drag Junyi along to have a look at the rabbit...(not yoonyoung)
Indeed we cant take our eyes off those cute baby rabbits...
Feeling eager to get one.
As we plan to get one... we had aim for the little brown rabbit we saw in MV.
But as for me,i have myself 3 dogs already...
And junyi was thinking of a way to keep it as it will be his first pet..
We decide not to buy it... for the sake we didnt know where and how we can keep it.
But soon,both of us cant resist the cuteness of a rabbit and decide to buy it together..sadly,the brown rabbit was gone...and we are both very very disappointed indeed when we came to know about the news to this.
But God was on our side.... I met this rabbit breeder who breeds super small mini rabbit.
I remember how i find her through the internet...
How i found out she was a mini rabbit..
How fluffy her fur was..
I also remember the time i keep calling the owner making sure she reserve the rabbit to me...and only me.

The day before YoonYoung arrive,even few nights before we have here...
Me & Junyi cant stop thinking of the names for the little rabbit...
Being a SONE also knows as SNSD's big fans! We decide to find a name that is related to SNSD :DD
from Sone to Sowon to Soshi to Mushroom etc etc etc.
But in the end...we came up with the name of... YoonYoung...
why YoonYoung? That is because im a big fan of Tiffany Hwang Mi Young while he is a big fan of Yoona!
So together the name combine we have~~ Yoonyoung...

I remember the day when she arrive to me...
her in the little box...
staying in one corner...she looks like a small cotton ball..
Her being in my hands...not even a size bigger than my palm...yes indeed...she is very small and furry..her fur was being so fluffy..
staying still in my hands... on my lap...
BEING CUTE is what YoonYoung good at.
I cant resist the cuteness of her and beg my dad to let me bring it home for at least a few days... BEG,yes...
who can resist those sad eyes? :p
I remember the night she was in my home...dominate the couch as if she was in my house from a long time ago...
Whenever i hold the food box,she would hop to my side and had both her front paws on my hand,cant resist her cuteness.
I remember how Junyi and went and buy the bag for Yoonyoung...hand carry bag to travel around...snacks..feed her through syringe because she wasnt drinking. her travelling with us from Leisure Mall to Time Square..
and her being in the snooker center with us..

Both my parents doesnt wants anymore pet...but in the end..
they have to give in...NO ONE CAN RESIST THE CUTENESS of YoonYoung. even Junyi's parents! and family members.
Carrying her into my room...letting her running around my bed..
Is the moments i cant stop thinking now..
Im sad of course,but thinking of the past of being her made me smile..
She's cute...really cute...
Yoonyoung was different than other rabbit...She's intelligent..
She respond to you when you call for her name...
She loves to snuggle into the pillows and sleep there quietly...
She can even jump up really high just to come out from the box...
And what is her favorite past time? SLEEPING.
If you put her lying down on her back...and touch her forehead...patting her gently.
She will fall asleep within minutes.

Then it was Junyi's turn to care for her...
I was really happy indeed when Junyi's family accepted YoonYoung in...
they too was drawn into yoonyoung charms.
Junyi's mum was even so sweet to buy another rabbit for yoonyoung to play with..

On the fatal day of 20th December 2010.
Is the day where YoonYoung has to leave us... leave the ones who love her most.
We cant bear the pain.. but life still moves on...
How i wish at least i could've play with her again..
How i wish she was in my hands again...
How i miss having my fingers run through her fluffy body..
But all this wont happen right?
it can never happen...i cant even see her anymore...even for the last time...

My parents was indeed sad... when they hear the news..
but we cant do anything anymore.. She's gone.
all thats left for us are the memories we had with her...
i admit... when i think of her...tears fill up in my eyes..
But i force myself to listen to SNSD's songs... to channel my mind..
i miss her very much indeed..
but God loves her more...
and now me and junyi knows...she is in heaven...looking at us from above.


i miss you,yoonyoung.
i love you till the end...although you are no longer here...but i will always love you till the end...
You are forever my favorite lovable rabbit...miss you.

within my limits

I know is great when someone compliment how good you are at accompanying people.
But there are times,you need to let me rest too,my dear...omgawd.
Im having sleepless nights already...
Is not that im complaining but there are times..
When you seriously have to let me have some moment of my own.
If i continue this... i think my life would be shorten.. :x

Uhhhhh~
I miss tiffany hwang a lot though.
Not seeing her performing for weeks,can seriously kill me from inside!
Where's the beautiful eye smile of hers.. i miss that,seriously.
Music Bank is a serious shit...
This week Music Bank,there are rumors that some fans spotted tiffany rehearsing...
But of course,is just rumors...
Was happy when i heard that but came to know she wasnt performing when its live...
When SNSD is performing...they have this background picture of them during Run Devil Run.
and i came to realize there is only 8 pictures!
8!! WHY? There is no tiff's picture,thats the why!!!
PLease!
Even if she isnt performing or what so ever,her picture should be there too.
People who doesnt think with their brain only think is not necessary to have it.
Come on,she's still a part of SNSD
And snsd will never be complete without tiffany.
And yes,im pretty pissed off at what MB did..
but could this be a reason of WHY tiffany didnt perform?
Despite about the rumors... but not having her pictures on the display is a very BIG NO NO to me... you cant do that to tiffany hwang!
Talk to my fist if you think is right to do so :|
I hope this wont make her to sad though...
i miss you Ms.Hwang... come back soon alright?
^^
all sones miss you so much!

unforgettable?

Lying...
Is something perhaps you should think twice before doing so....
Because,no matter how much you try to hide one thing..
In the end,it will be exposed too..
So,to my conclusion is that...you better not lies.
Someone used to tell me,if you are lying for their own good..perhaps they can accept it.
But face it,no can take it..
No one can accept lies..no one..including yourself..

ooo : cant believe i have trusted you all this while!
xxx : i dont mean to lies to you,if i have a choice,i wouldnt have!
ooo : everyone has their own choice,and you has made one to lies to me.
xxx : sorry.
ooo : do you think one sorry is all that matters?? do you know how deeply hurt i am??
xxx : (speechless)
ooo : nothing to say?good,im about to walk out from your life now...
xxx : wait! look...im very sorry...im stupid for doing something that i know i would
regret!but im even more stupid to do something that would hurt you.
Im a human too,i make mistakes that i dont want to. I dont know what makes me
do that,okay...sorry.
ooo : do you think your sorry can pick up the shatter heart???
xxx : No,this is why i need another chance...give me at least another chance...
another chance to lies to myself that i can have another chance to love you
again,another chance to be the one for you...i know what i say now...you may
not believe,you can deny that you have love me before..but you can never deny
that you are happy when you are with me~ you can say you regret of trusting me
but can you say that you regret of being with me? I lied and its wrong!
is so wrong! so let me make it up to you... Give me some time...
Give me some time so you can gain some trust from me again. I dont need you to
love me back,but what i need is to make it up to you... so when people asked
you,that who will you choose if you have choice...you would choose me..
because im the one who can really put a smile on your face....
Im lost when i hear you saying you are about to leave me... lead me to the
right path again..give me a chance to do the right thing..
Sorry is just a word,let action shows you how sorry i am to you.

- its all in the past isnt it.. i cant forget this day either.. -

- is the day i thought is over for me.. the day i was afraid to lose you.. -

- but we both has now having our own life..because..thats all it matters to me now -

...sorry...

All Love Goes This Way (mostly)

Indeed is true that when you are in a relationship and when its over..
You dont seem to manage to forget some of the memorable ones.
Right?
So,its not wrong for me to remember some of it...
and is nothing surprising if i do still remember some.

When you're in a relationship..
This is all you can think of.

- I CANT LEAVE WITHOUT YOU.
- I NEED YOU EVERYDAY IN MY LIFE.
- WHAT WOULD MY LIFE BE WITHOUT YOU.
- I RATHER DIE IF YOU BREAK UP WITH ME.
- YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN MY LIFE.
- WHAT WILL BE IF I DONT HAVE YOU BY MY SIDE.
- THERE IS NO POINT OF LIVING WITHOUT YOU.
- YOU ARE THE ONE WHO MADE MY HEART STILL PUMPING.
- I WILL LOVE NO ONE ELSE BUT YOU.
- I CAN NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE OTHER THAN YOU.
- IM DEVOTED TO YOU.
- I WILL NEVER LIES TO YOU.
- HOW CAN I CHEAT ON YOU.
- WE WILL BE FOREVER.
- I LOVE YOU FOREVER.
- NOTHING CAN CHANGE MY LOVE TO YOU.
- I LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPENED THE FUTURE.
- I CANT STOP LOVING YOU.
- NO MATTER WHAT YOU DID WRONG I CAN ALWAYS FORGIVE YOU.
- I NEED YOUR HUGS AND KISSES EVERYDAY.
- I JUST WANT YOU TO HOLD MY HAND AND NO ONE ELSE.
- I WONT LOOK AT ANYONE EXCEPT YOU.
- I WONT BE SWEET TO ANYONE ELSE EXCEPT YOU.
- YOU ARE MY ONE AND ONLY.
- MY HEART HAS ONLY GOT YOU.
- WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO WITH MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU.

Lol,any many more of course...
And with that,your mind will tells you automatically that you are in a very serious relationship..
Now,how many of you have encounter this before?
How many of you has eventually said this or heard from someone before?
I bet 99.99% of you surely does.
But what happens after everything was over?
Life still moves on right...
thats when things like this becomes memories...

I still see you living when we break (;
Because,those are just words...JUST WORDS you said when you are in love..
if you are mature and has a brain,you will know is time to move on.
(im not hinting anyone,just saying what is on my mind)
What makes you think it was really worth it to die for someone who you probably just know for not long...dying for them is worth it?
what about your parents who had care for you ever since the day you were only an infant?
LIFE GOES ON

Is all in your mind...
Your heart and mind dont always work out together...
Your heart might say to you,DONT LET GO,IS NOT WORTH IT
while your brain might say to you, IS TIME TO MOVE ON
Which makes you think very hard on you rather to let go...or to hang on it.
But you can trust me here for one thing...
Life still goes on and you can do it..
All you have to do is give yourself some time and push yourself to do what is suppose to be done.. (not by commit suicide =-=)

Why is there past?
Because is the past that makes what today is...
Without the past...there is no today...without today...there is no future.
Think about it...was it worth to do something stupid because you think your life is OVER just because you have failed in a relationship?
You'll never meet you MR or MRS RIGHT if you are always going for the wrong path.

The sweetest thing your partner can ever say to you when you are in a relationship.
Is also meant,the harsher words they can say to you when they dont love you anymore.
Always remember...when there is no trust in a relationship.
There is no point of continuing...
Chances? there will always be a limit in everyone's heart.
There will always be boundaries too you know.
If you cross over too much... BOOM... is bye bye to you.
This is why you must always be thankful and try not to do any big mistakes that could lead you hurting your love ones.
And being late and regret doesnt do any help if you keep on repeating it.

Dont want to lose your love ones then hold on to them tightly..
In anway,what matters most is no matter what happen...

BE STRONG

Day BY Day

I need to get one thing straight...
If you treat me good and i will treat you even better...that's just typical of me.
Well,i do care about people i care deeply...sayang them very much indeed...
and this might sometimes lead to misunderstanding in the terms of the way i was treating them...
So,treating someone good was bad?
Or there some people who are not suppose to be treated well just because they might think wrongly of me?
:/ what do you want me to do......



So,yes..this is what i bought yesterday to have my hair color...
Look,i know nothing about this product.
The sales girl told me all you have to do is to put the products on as if you are washing your hair and leave it on for 30minutes....
:O serious? jinja?
bought it at the price of RM37.90 after discount...
*finger crossed*
and yeah....there is a result after all :DD
nyahahahahaha! but OMG the product stinks like hell...and somehow it burn my eyes
==" but it was all worth it.
^^

Oh yeah! went to GALACTIC LASER GUN game in MIDVALLEY (3rd floor)
what is my opinion of the game?
DAMN FUN! is really very very nice...
1st round was kind of nervous though but when it was the 2nd round...things are way more fun...
But the fun part was that i actually went with my manager's kids :DD
They are cute. oh well,bottom line...fun is the WORD.
^^

So,yes...went to my friend's house...
was planning to chit chat but in the end...i help her mum out by washing some of her clothes XD

Is it really wrong to care for others?

i remember everything doesnt means what you are thinking,silly.

Of course i remember what you said...even till now...
give me a reason i should forget it...
because we have broken up 3 years ago? no way.
there are things that i have cherish until now.. but things are never the same again
it will never be the same again.

I remember how your toes will turn blue-black when it starts raining and you get too cold..
I remember how you need Japanese tea when you have migraine,same like me.

Remember when you told me you were upset if you are calling me and my found out i was on the line with someone else..and because of that you couldnt get to me..
that's when i started,to cut off the calls whenever you call,i make to answer your call 1st..because you are more important..
but do you even remember,when that happens to me?but i remain quiet.
There are things i choose to remain silent is because i cherish you at the moment.
and cant bear to argue with you.so i choose to ignore and let it be.
But is also because of this,you think you are always right...and im making so much mistakes,when in reality,you and i both know what is really happening.

Because of this few days,im stress out,not to say,about my job....
i dont find you annoying...but i find it really sad to see you acting this way.

Are sure being with me is what you really want??
ARE YOU SURE?
remember the day we end our relation?what you have said to me?
think of that reason and think again on what you are saying now....
Be mature...think wisely.
and...i do not have the old feelings at all,anymore...sorry

i really cant answer your call anymore...you make me more sad by hearing you sobbing through the phone...
you acting this way wont solve anything you know