FUCKED UP

SERIOUSLY FED UP MAN!

WHEN A PERSON GOSSIP ABOUT THE PERSON YOU CARE A LOT.

YOU WILL FOR SURE TELL THEM ABOUT IT ISNT IT????

BECAUSE YOU ARE ANGRY BUT YOU CANT SCOLD THE CULPRIT SO YOU CAN ONLY RELEASE IT WITH THE PERSON YOU CARE AND TALK BAD ABOUT THE CULPRIT!

I DID THAT AND IN THE END,EVERYTHING TURN AROUND AND I WAS BEING SHOOT

COME ON!

SERIOUSLY!

I CARE SO DAMN MUCH ABOUT YOU AND THIS IS WHAT I GET?

PEOPLE SHOULD KNEW ME BETTER THAT IM A JOKER.

IF YOU DONT LIKE WHAT IM JOKING ABOUT YOU CAN COME STRAIGHT TO ME RIGHT AWAY AND TELL ME ABOUT IT AND I WILL STOP.

WE ARE CLOSE THATS WHY I ONLY TEASE YOU.

I JUST FIND YOU EXPRESSION ADORABLE AND THINKING THAT YOU KNEW THAT I LOVE TO TEASE YOU.

BUT EVERYTHING I GUESSED WAS WRONG.

EVERY SINGLE THING.

YOU SHOULD KNEW YOU ARE ONE OF THE PERSON I CARE MOST IN MY LIFE.

I ALWAYS TRY AND BE THERE FOR YOU.

FOR YOU TO COME AND TELL ME THAT YOU THANK GOD THAT YOU DIDNT STAY AND YOU LEFT SO THAT I CAN GOSSIP MORE ABOUT YOU,FUCKING HURTS LIKE HELL.

NOW I CLEARLY KNOWS HOW IT FEEL WHEN THE PERSON YOU LOVE AND CARE AND YOU WANT TO PROTECT,STABS YOU RIGHT IN THE HEART. thanks.

I GOSSIP ABOUT YOU?

THEN I WOULD GO HELP YOU WHEN IS NOT EVEN MY PROBLEM?

GOSSIP ABOUT YOU BEHIND YOUR BACK?

WHEN I SEE KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE JYJ BUT YOU DIDNT GET THE POSTER BECAUSE YOU WANT TO SAVE MONEY AND I GET IT FOR YOU BECAUSE I KNOW YOU REALLY WANTED THE POSTER.

GOSSIP ABOUT YOU?

WHEN YOU ARE EMO I THINK OF ALL WAY TO CHEER YOU UP?

GOSSIP ABOUT YOU?

WHEN YOU ARE SOMEONE I CARE SO MUCH.

it literally hurts a lot.

its alright if you want to ignore me and dont talk to me from now onwards.

you have your own thoughts and you have your own right.

all this leads to the same thing,you guys are just saying i wasnt mature enough and that i should act my own age.

perhaps,i would take some time and give some deep thoughts in it..

perhaps,you all are right after all.

was i the one who does not deserve to have people like you all?

or what?

was it my fault to just wanting to put smiles and laughters on my friends face most of the time?

never knew you could say something like this...

but despite what you had said..

i still will care and protect you if you have any problem..

despite how much you show that you hated me..

yes,people...im an idiot..

i thought i was tough,i am tough.

everyone who knows me well,knew i was a tough person.

because if i wasnt tough how can i be there for my friend when they are weak and needed someone?

but behind every tough act...i still have the nerve call *being hurt*

it wasnt my fault as i was being misunderstand...

but why am i crying? LOL.

pabo..nomu pabo..

people like me should just die.

i dont want to serve any customer right now?

i think i just scared that lady away when i serve her halfway,i keep wiping the tears away from my eyes.

she just stand there and stare at me for a second.

"you must hold onto those tears..dont let it flow out when you are with your family"

you must not cry!you must not cry! dont scare your own family,you got it??? PLEASE GOD! HELP ME THIS TIME...

i have feelings too myself,and i always care about others...

but what do i get?

anyway...really..useless..

enough..

Where is a place where i can be alone for a moment?

i think i have to go... and calm my heart down.

and as for my friends,dont have to find me.

i need time of my own. for this time.it sucks like hell,the feeling..worst and worst..

(if you still think of me that way,all i can say is im sorry. but i wasnt saying sorry because you think i have gossip about you..i can swear that i didnt..but im sorry if my thoughts were all wrong about the teasing one...really sorry)