My Stress FREE day w buddies

I'm just going to cut this short and fast?

Haha, basically I am so darn busy with work.

If you want pictures, please just visit my ig(?)

LOL.

Even on ig, there's only two pictures.

Since we enjoy ourselves more than we whoring around in front of the camera xD

So, the early plan for this outing, we are all pretty stress from works and studies.

Where to head when you feel stress and you want to be a kid all over again?

SUNWAY LAGOON!!

I know, I went there like not long ago, probably in the month of August? July? Not very sure.

/short term memory lost alert/

But who cares! Like if you go with the right people, anywhere can be a great place.

So, on 18/10/2014, Andrew decided to pick me up from my place @ 730am, he is pretty on time this time (okay, most of the times laa) /claps hands/ no no, he was like arriving before 740am(?) if im not mistaken because I am super duper hyper allergic to people who cannot be on time.

Pick me up and we head on to pick CK up :D then off we go to Klang to pick the two xiao jie(s) up as well then off we head to our fun destination.

I guess luck was on our side as Groupon had this discount of purchasing two tix at the price of RM120 (per tix w IC is RM90) so yeah. we saved ourselves a whole RM30 (not bad eh?)

Actually i wanted to give myself a halloween night of try for the night themepark, but the two girls are saying they are afraid, so we skipped that.

P/S: I DONT EVEN GO FOR HAUNTED HOUSE! but lol, the sudden wanting(?)

We start our ride with VUVUZUELA my favorite ride and it was CK's first time riding it.

I made him promise to scream like a girl xD and we did.

After Vuvuzuela ride, we head for Vuvuzuela AGAIN xD and he said he felt no difference.

-_-

well, Sunway is kinda boring because of the limited rides. TBH.

But hey, once in awhile, you need to release the inner kid of you out okay.

And we did, throwing sands at one another, seriously, thinking back how we played with the sands...

that scene, i can laugh all over again.

That day i actually laughed and trip on my butt and kept on laughing until my friends was like O_o are you okay??

We were wandering around, wondering what ride we should go since we skipped Flying Fox (due to long queue) we happened to see the Wave Pool having this Fire Eating acts going on, caught our attention we just go to the closes we can to the stage.

All of a sudden the host announces there will be music and DJ after the acts.

Guess what.

We actually dance in the wave pool for 2 hours (plus) straight.

It was kinda new to us all, and every time the DJ starts a new song, we would start by splashing one another (even the strangers besides us) like CRAZY!! Then jumping up and down like crazy, is like clubbing in water xD

Or else how can we dance all the way for 2 hours straight till rain downpours~

What happened in the Wave Pool Party was this two girls standing next to me, we were splashing around until i turned my back against from CK who is splashing me nonstop, I saw this Arab fella actually stick his body close up to the chinese girls, but because the situation was kinda 'messy' you can really do anything but to expect being touch/molest by others who take advantages of the situation.

I took initiative to whisper to one of them whether they know him or not, they said no, so I actually got Andrew's helped to stand beside the two girls to block them off from the Arab guys. 

It did the trick :3

Omg, my muscles are still sore till today, it's like 2 days already.

And I'm getting a lil lazy to blog :p

But the best part is that we went for another last round of Vuvuzuela under the raining hard condition.

Damn that feeling is NICE :D

I'll be back to blog, back to work.

Miss my buddies already :(

The Parents.

Often, children writes on their view towards the parents nowadays.

I'll twist that plot today and do otherwise.

No, goodness no, thankfully, I aint a parent to any babies/child yet (lol) hence I am writing this through a witnessing experience.

It may or may not sound logically but therefore this just the bits to my pov.

So, to any critters or buggers who may dislike this, calmly click the X button on your tab.

I for once dare say MOST teenagers/children claims that they are not treated well or fairly therefore here comes their rebelling.

Is that fair though?

To 'revenge' your way through by disobeying them, doing anything and perhaps everything that could be going against their advice thinking-

"HECK! Who cares about you man, this is my life, when I surpass my legal age, I do whatever the fuck I want and you cant control me"

Then I can definitely categorize you in the inhumane category.

For once, if you can have such selfless thoughts, use that whacky brain of yours and give your so call good thinking head a hit on the wall to at least make your brain works for ONCE(!)

What do your parents owe you in your life that you must mistreated them or hurt them this way?

We can be really naughty and can be shouting or arguing back with them at times but never once they neglect us when it comes to time when we really need help. 

When you were just a helpless toddler, who helped you give your way through? Who helped you to grow up and live till today?

WHO?????

Back when we were just a baby, when our cries triggers the panic alarm to our parents, they dont just go "oh what the fuck you want? We just fed you. Ahh. Who cares a measly baby? We have done our part of job as a parent. Cry all you want"

Who has taken care of your minimal of at least 17 years of your life has never ask for a repay back.

And now that you reach some certain age where you become dependable on your own our you think you have someone you can rely on and that it is enough, you decide you do not need your parents anymore, you selfishly do up those bastard acts that could hurt and wound your parents and you dont even give a damn on it, oh wow, how satanic. 

If you cant give back the same amount of love they have given to you, then please at least dont be so cruel to them? They are humans and your parents as well.

Yes, at times your parents my never satisfy your needs on the materialistic sides. Hence it may be the amount of siblings you have or most probably the problem on the fortune side.

You should be more clear of the situation in your life than others who are just bluntly listening to your unsatisfied needs on sided and just talking you into words of support that you WANT to hear to satisfy your anger.

And there you go thinking your friend/bf/gf knows you better than your own parents.

But have you ever talk to your parents?

You ask how can you cos its your life and it is supposed to be kept hidden and away to your fam bam, oh i see, an answer to your very own questions and doubts that you could probably ever have and you think there is no need of asking or sharing with them cos you already have the answer on your own.

See where the error comes from?

It's YOU.

If being a parent is so damn easy, sex should be done by everyone daily.

(lmao)

Why do you think condoms are made?

You think bringing up a child will be an easy peasy job?

How dense are you youngsters nowadays.

Once again.

Im not claiming all the youngsters category in the whole world. This is just my pov.

A mothers birth is a pain that could not be properly describe.

A fathers duty on the responsibilities of making sure of you growing up well on the meals he can provide is not easily be taken up for the challenge.

All they ever wants was you to not hurt them in anyways in return.

Is it that hard though to appreciate someone who has taken care of you? Someone who has did something for you because they want to make sure you grew up healthy and alive and probably biggest request they ever wants back is not to send them to the old folks home in the future or the tiniest request is to at least not hurt them?

They are not like your girlfriend who just came to satisfy your needs in your life and wants stuffs/money from you in return.

They are not like your boyfriend who probably says and do all the nice nice things that pleases you so they could please themselves in your pants.

For once.

Dont just think about yourself.

Think about your parents.

They could have scolded you for a good reason or sometimes stress from income or jobs can causes them to be a balloon that will burst even with the touch of a feather..

Do not think just from your side of thoughts as a selfish acts. Think from the whole.

What and how you will feel.

If you say I could it do it a whole lot better than what my parents are doing and giving to me right now.

My applause for your immature mind that just loves to brag at something that is still unreachable to you yet thus even close to that.

No, I am not a perfect child to my family.

I still argue with them at times when I think I am not wrong, or answer them back that could lead into hurting them but all of these could be avoided if I could take a step back before taking a step forward without thinking with fairly thoughts. But today, I dare say I have nothing hidden against my parents. Nothing hidden if revealed could wound and hurt them.

Dare you say the same?

I'm just a person at the age of 24...perhaps to have or not have a kid of my own in the future.

Think.

If your future daughter or son do the same to you of what you did today behind your parents back, will you be OKAY with it?

I do not know if I am getting more mature bits by bits as i aged.

And maybe is also because the loss of my previous two pets made me realize what death really means and why appreciation exist in dictionary.

If you did something real wrong.

And you yet cant feel any guilt pangs in your heart congrats on being close to a satan child.

I knew I didnt heard wrongly.

I knew I remember clearly of what really happened.

Because when it happens..

Im shock that you can be that rude to me.

A person you said cherishing the friendship with.

If I alone who says...you can say I made the mistake.

But two other people than myself. Heard and saw what you say and did too.

So what now?

They are liars too?

Cos they are my friends?

Lol.

This will be the last i talk about this.

Because for the first time in life.

I wish...we have never met.

joke of the day

"SHE'S TRYING TO BREAK OUR FRIENDSHIP"

Omg. I laugh so hard hearing so.

Why do i need to try?

When people know you long enough, you will show your side that everyone surely dislike and you will live pathetically wondering what or why people dislikes you.

You know whats your problem?

Being a guy but acting like a bitch. That is the problem(!)

Hello, idiot. If it wasnt for me. Do you think you will know so many sones? And her?

Please dont be funny.

How old are you retard? Still studying in kindergarden? Lol. Some more taking engineering course but acting like a 2 years old.

If i can control people's mind. I would have have you slapping yourself.

Idiot.

All your saying just proves how idiotic you are.

She's 24.

She has live old enough to know who is right who is wrong. Who she can trust and who is the idiot.

I trust she is not as dense as you.

Hahahahahahahahaha. Idiot.

Hahahahahahahaha.

Childish Asshole

Ooh...im blogging again(!) So. Someone said why got problem have to blog?

Actually. The answer is: "None of your fucking business right?"

The trip tremendously shows me a lot(!)

During the trip. I trust we may accidentally hurt or offended each other unknowingly.

For me likewise. 

Since i am very sensitive...i am aware of my friend's reaction every single time after i talk or reply them. And at the end of the day...i would apologize upfront if i did or not hurt them without realizing.

So after i blogged. Drama begins.

First, he admitted that he has bad assumptions on us..he say we will for sure boycott him and ivink.

^ people...this is how immature arse thinks.

I admit. When we were chatting. We was like, "what if that two are in their own lil world? Wont gua...this is outing...outing means to enjoy with each other..."

Which is the truth. If we isolate one another...what is the point of the whole trip?

So for him or them like he referred.

Us boycotting them.

It means even before they met us...they have this bad thinking applying in their mind already.

I blog. I came forward. I confront.

Because i think we deserved an apology for the inhumane things you did.

But then again.

People with dense english would most probably not able to imply my english. No. Im not saying my english is amazing. I used the word dense.

And when they are dense and angry.

They just simply answer questions to themselves. Which was HILARIOUS for me.

"I want to maintain a friendship. I appreciate us being as friends?"

^ wtf? You have bad thoughts about us but want to maintain relationship.

Selfish.

There is so much more.

But.

Why should i?

Im not losing anything that mean something to my life.

Not worth it.

Boycott my ass.

Andrew got my tantrums a few times.

I even scolded him.

But i felt comfort for telling him dislikes face to face. Show him i am unhappy of what he did or says or think. But then? We still hehe haha the next minute.

How come i can throw my emotions freely at him? Cos he is a guy not a boy who keep grudge in the heart. He is those type cincai laa..

Which kinda bother me at times. Cos it feels like he doesnt care. Lol. 

An immature boy will acts like a baby.

A kid who dont get the ice cream. Sulks and when people say they did this or that wrong..

They deny deny deny deny deny.

Sulking.

Yelling.

Throwing bad words around.

A guy who keeps grudge in their heart is a guy who is never mature enough.

Being mature means to come clean and solve.

Not bad mouthing behind people's back and pretend to maintain a friendship thereafter.

Bottomline.

If a trip can show me who is friends and who are not. I think its a whole lot worth.

At least i didnt waste extra years treating someone as a friend when they obviously dont care.

Boycott?
Who is the one isolating himself at one corner?
Who is the one pulled himself out and decide to do every thing himself?
Outing means you need to be initiative and start mingling around yourself to be in the group and not expect everyone to come and talk to you first.
Who the fuck you think you are that people need to go and talk to you 1st?
Even a two years old baby dont need that kind of guidance. How old and immature are you?
Boycott. Lmao(!)
Get your english right.
We boycott you or you already planned to boycott us in the beginning??

Hari Raya Holidays

I hasnt blog for awhile now, an off day today..probably a time to update how I spent my holidays.

So it was all a very planned trip by a few weeks earlier before it happens.

I thought things will go smoothly, but nawww- people are born with spoilers at times.

Heck, now i think my sensitivity detection has become a bigger roaming, that I admit.

Why not I begin?

We all started by meeting in USJ cos Cyn finishes her work at 7pm. Andrew picked me up at 5pm after picking Nogy up, hell, I do the last minute rushing packing OTL and yes...I forgotten about my towel. Fml lol.

Then off we go to USJ to pick xian up then head to USJ City Mall...but halfway there, i was talking about the previous trip that i went to sunway lagoon without my IC and was being charged for RM120 instead of RM90 (If you are a malaysian..please dont forget about your ic) Okay..probably is very minimal to have people like me =_= 

Andrew realized he had forgotten about his IC hence a big turn to head back straight to his place. 

Earlier on around close to 3pm I have texted Ivink since she is coming down from Sekinchan with Jy..she said their journey has just begun.

One more thing, I am those kind of peasant who is really genuine about my feelings when it comes to being punctual. For me. You either stick to the time that was planned or if you knew there could be jam or anything, work it with your time management. Do not let your dates got hanged up or waits you.

Cos is just fucking disrespectful.

But then. They were never late..they reached earlier (so early that time didnt makes any sense because to be reaching so fast) and we too was never late. Xian said she was busy and we headed to the store to get some liquids while waiting for cyn since she called.

met up and off we go for our dinner at Uncle Jang which Andrew suggested.

everyone's 1st time x3 and we ordered something which we cant enjoy due to the spiciness =_= everyone was hissing in spiciness with every bites. Regrets regrets. Cos everyone got a painful stomach in the end.

after dinner..we rush to aeon big to get our snacks and also booze for the trip...trying to make our curious youngest potato maknae to grow up...made her drink the most safest booze...

Hoegarden.

a bottle herself. Kkkkk.

but sadly...she cant join our trip this time around...so we send her home to klang.

on the way to klang..we got caught up a bit in the jam... Ivink called to say she and jy will head up to Genting 1st..

(TODAY'S BLOG IS ALL ABOUT HONEST REAL FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS. READ IT WITH YOUR OWN GUTS IF YOU ARE PART OF THE TRIP MEMBERS)

When I heard that excuse to 'skip' the jam where else we call this an outing/friends trip.

wtf was that?

You cant wait in a minor jam and decided to just break off with the trip and head to Genting yourself alone first? 

Oh...very nice indeed. Even the youngest also said "arent outing means we are supposed go stick together?"

Guess its not in everyone's POV. But i maintain quiet because I was actually beginning to feel rather pissed but I wouldnt want to ruin anyone's mood. As I am known to be angry quite fast at some certain times.

stayed at Genting..sunrise..sleeping in the car wasnt pleasant especially when Uncle Jang is still hanging around in your tummy LMAO.

andrew's gps was out off battery.

so i decide to split the task.

andrew's car to head to hotel check in and jy to go pick shirly up at 10am.

Thank You to Ms. Jacqueline whom is known as the Sales Marketing Director...she allowed me to check in at 10:13am!!! How awesome is she???

^_^

So its me, Andrew, Cyn and Nogy the first group that checked in... they all start lazying around until Andrew and Nogy calls it HUNGRY lol..

andrew said to tell Jy and the rest to meet at 1Utama for our (planned) buffet meal which starts at 12pm till 3pm++ Shabu10.

but Ivink called to ask us to wait at the hotel instead because they can make it within 40mins to reach the hotel then we shall only go to the buffet together after they reach.

Ignoring the fact that our stomach was growling.

we waited as said.

they came around 12pm++

Jy came to me and said "Why not skip the buffet? Then at 3pm we can head to Ecurve (escape room game) and maybe after the game we can eat our dinner? Lets skipped lunch since everyone is sleepy and tired..."

I just nod my head..seeing indeed is a bit true.

but then. Andrew's stomach were growling and so were mine. Nogy was out for a phone call so i woke Cyn up and she too was a bit hungry (1pm+) 

below our hotel is a shopping mall and I knew where we could get Hot n Rolls. 

So i went to Ivink and ask what would she like.

Her reply:

"Anything. Because I am still full. Me and Jy had our lunch already"

I was stunned and so was andrew when he over heard the reply...

in conclusion..the fact that we already planned this trip and food earlier on...you both despite the obvious fact in this case are very inhumanely selfish cut the food plan off WITHOUT telling us the truth that you already had lunch and we had waited with empty stomachs and you KNEW we are.

how nice of a friend you both are. Really.

but our trip was long. So i shut up and just go get the meal at the shopping mall.

without thinking.

(Although you both has selfishly taken your meal)

As a friend. I ordered 7pax food.

someone said to me "i thought they have eaten? Why order for them when they didnt think about us?"

my reply was, "its okay...we can be the bigger person...lets see how thick the skin of their faces are...since they claimed they are VERY FULL with their cheated lunch"

Okay. I dont fucking care because the money was forked out by everyone. You want to eat it despite after what you did. Go ahead.

Went to Escape Room-

Okay. Who am I kidding? With all these shits that happens...who am I kidding to still have the mood to blog about the trip? Shall I make things cut short and better on the point of why to I act that way at the end of the trip?

So I shall.

our last pit stop was on Monday, sunway lagoon.

after half a day of absolute fun swim activities.

i counted our money and we still have rm500++

Ate at Papa John and we walked around.

until we decided to have Bowling session to spend the $$$ off.

per person gets to bowl 2 times per turn.

but our lane seems to be having a probably.

it somehow skipped giving us actual marks and at times make us bowl 2 more times extra.

JY said "Get someone to fix it..." and the gang was all eyes on me. Fine. I stood at the counter for like 5 mins to tell the receptionist. When i went back to our lane. Jy said "dont need call the repairman lah"

I was like what? I called already...

"Dont need lah dont need lah...dont need so troublesome. Just play lah"

Okay.

number 1.

didnt you just told me to go ask someone to fix it? 

After the long wait.

the way you asked me no need to is as if I was troubling people when my intention in the first place was to get someone to fix the shit that you are uncomfort with.

it blew my patience off this time.

i tried and tried to hold my anger.

which i did instead of pointing out his faulty.

but my face shows the opposite.

sorry.

i cant hide my discomfort and displease emotions well from my expression due to all your doings o0o

it was my turn to bowl.

i threw harder (actually I three with nonetheless caring how many pins i may hit) because the fact I have eventually lost my mood after enduring all the shits I was getting during the trip.

the moment i turned around.

i saw jy giving eye hint to ivink and they look at me one kind

(Maybe cos the fact that I was showing dislike but I wonder if they are even smart enough to realize the things they have said and done?)

After bowling.

I was walking a bit ahead from the group but with Cyn closely behind me.

jy walked pass me and said "We are going home..." so i stopped..then i said okay...bye then..(still in a very pleasant tone when I actually starts burning on the inside)

then he said something that actually make my anger burst.

"The money"

In his very demanding tone.

as if i would take the rm259 and run away.

fuck that.

i took my wallet and counted and divided among the shares. After that. I walk off. Turned around because I was forgetting something.

"Byeee..." 

he look at me and said "Bye? I thought we are going to yam cha?"

Woah...hold it there.

You said it that you are going home.

and also when a person calls it to divide back he remaining money it means is to end the trip and everyone should get back their equal shares.

so wtf was that? Tell me.

am i wrong this time?

Dont give me the "she has princess attitude" cos i am definitely not.

If you guys are reading this. Good.

because a part of me still treats you both as a friend...i blogged this instead of coming upfront to you and tell you the dirty selfish things you guys did.

how would you feel if you were hungry and you waited for us 1st because we said we were coming but in the end we have eaten?

You will feel is NOTHING?

Dont give me bull-fucking-cock-shit.

please.

i have endure much bigger drama.

And i know what is lies.

you guys stop us from going to the lunch is because you have eaten and not hungry and without me...you cant enter the hotel room.

you didnt even care if Shirly has eaten or not.

you two secretly ate without telling.

even if you said to call buffet off and to be nice enough to inform that you have eaten and that we (The Ones) who have not, should get something to eat.

that will be tolerable.

^

This is enough to proven that you only care about yourself and instead of your friends around you.

may i ask.

what's the point right?

If you dont care about us. Why care so much to maintain in contact?

If you two thinks that just having each other companies is enough.

fine.

stay that way.

friends do come and go.

after reading this.

have some balls and guts come confront me with your reasons/excuses.

i would love to see and hear that.

if you just keep quiet.

fine.

your choice.

because we decided to do the same.

if you dont appreciate friendship like us do.

okay.

fair enough.

if a trip can make and shows me that ugly side of yours, I think is fair enough.

people around us are getting older.

friendship are hard to maintain.

appreciation should be kept and used.

but i dont think that is the case for you.

you once asked me "if she look for you, will you accept her back? After all she did...wont you hate her?"

Or 

"Why did you forgive her?"

TBH.

i kept trying to think...what do I actually hate about her...i do know why we stop contacting each other. But i dont hate her.

maybe cause the fact that when she look for me the last time...she and I admitted the faulty we did? Maybe cos people grew mature and know when and where to admit the faulty? The mistakes?

I appreciate friendship.

I made plans for trips to come.

despite the fact i dont get answers for my questions.

i keep trying my way to make it work.

schedule it for everyone's "YES"

because i do want us to hang out as a whole.

thus i know some of you dont give a fuck if it works out or not...i still put effort into making it come true for all of us.

because when we get together..

there will be laughter and relaxation.

this time.

shown me too much.

if you think you are wrong or right.

please.

have a self courage and come confront me.

if not.

bye.

im tired of the whole drama thing.

when are you people going to grow? 

Is it so hard to have balls and vaginas to come tell me what is wrong or maybe we have been wrong that you two have to be this way? To treat us this way?

If you have the guts to do it.

have the guts to embrace it.

Maybe.

im the only one who grew old?

Maybe.

im just too tired of dramas and become sensitive at all times and aware of my surroundings?

Maybe.

to others. Friends doesnt has to maintain long because friends comes and goes?

Maybe.

friends are NOT important?

Well. You are wrong. Everyone needs a friend.

oh..that explains why you have enough when you have each other. 

Let me tell you something.

even if you have a bf or a gf.

you will still need friends!

Unless you're a cockroach...okay. i know nothing about cockroach lifestyle.

=_=

Maybe.

you just dont care cos the fact that you are selfish and just care about you and yourself and nobody else?

Maybe.

i should not care much anymore.

because caring one problem because of others means you care about them or because they mean something to you.

But why should I care so much when the opponent does not?

Sometimes.

im so fucking tired dwelling all these and being the peacemaker or the forgiving one.

I used to care so much without limits and look at where it got me to...

everything...should have its own limit.

and I have mine too.

my Biggest guilt in 24 years of my life.

Maybe pouring out will ease the burden in my heart a bit(?) 

Though I strongly believe, I will never ever forget that moment..

My last moment with wangja...

My baby boy..

Before he passed on...his sister left 2 days earlier...between the two siblings..

I was more bias to the elder sis.

Because she's fat, fluffy and adorable.

To the point I felt so blessed to have this cute pig.

When I saw the stages she go through are the same of what i read on the net.

I was scared, I begged my dad to be by her side on her last stage...she eventually left.

I swore to myself to do anything and everything to keep wangja with me. I surf the net every hours...try all kind of methods...cos i do not trust the vet.

Today...I want to share something I have hidden in me...

When my puppy was at his last stage...

His head was on my lap while i sat on the floor.

He was just staring blankly at me.

I made him all kind of promises...i begged him to not be so naughty and stubborn to go look for his sister...that he should just grow old with me and we'll go find his sister together...that i promised him...i will fulfill it.

Maybe perhaps...i did too much wrong...God punishes me this way...

In one of the most painful process.

I had my left hand stroking his head...while my right hand held at his chest feeling his heart beat.

I could see him struggling...

I bend over to whisper "its okay to go...i promise i will come find you...but you must wait for me there okay? Because i will really really miss you..." they say dogs can hear...and they will let go if you let them go. Of course i do not want him to go...but i do not want him to suffer.

His heartbeat slows down every seconds...until it stops...it stops and i felt around his chest...hoping it was just my imagination...but his body turns cold...

I pray hard...that at least his sister will be there guiding him..because this silly fellow is a follower...when i brings him to the park...he would only stick closely to my dad's legs...

Never leave our sides..

I call him gay boy at times because he is so clingy to my dad...

I thought i was immune to accept this..

But writing this now proof otherwise...my tears just comes out automatically.

To others. He may just be a dog. A pet of mine.

But to me and my family.

He's the youngest kid in our family.

Dad treated him like it was his own son.

Every Friday when I came home to myself alone..i would slouch myself on the couch...he will automatically jump onto the couch...and put his chin on my shoulder...i would sometimes tease him by staring at him and ask him to stop acting cute...cos is disgusting...but because i felt the earnest love coming from him...how he just magically takes stress off from the entire week of mine...i could only thank God for it.

Every night i would ask him, "do you want your jacket?" He would lazily makes his way to me and put his head into the collar and let me help him wear the jacket...then i would kiss him on the forehead goodnight and tells him that i will see him in a couple more hours when im off to work.

If it wasnt for my family today..

...

I would have actually thought of committing a suicide...to go look for him... i know it sounds crazy but i just had those thoughts.

Maybe you think im crazy heck...maybe i really am...but no one can judge me and understand what im going through...

He is not just a pet...he is more than that.

I have grown to have him around.

Sometimes i would read my blog again when i am able to visit.

But i dont think i will for this particular one.

God.

How long do i need to live with this pain?

But life moves on. Really.

I may smile. Joke. And still my old self as on today and tomorrow and the day after.

I was doing so...

Just so my mind will lift off from thinking about my puppy for awhile there.

I think maybe because of all these times i have been ultra tough and firm.

He taught me how life and death is.

And finally. There's a reason for me to burst into tears.....

I'm not a good owner...I didnt even get to save my own puppy...but i am definitely someone who loves him very very much...even as on today...and in the future...

Im sorry, Wangja...Gongju...